Senator Roland Burris (D), the man who was appointed by deposed Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich to replace Barack Obama in the Senate, came out with the following quote a couple days ago…

My concept of marriage is a male and a female for the perpetuation of the species, for children to be born and identify the bloodline and the heritage.But I’m pretty sure, as things are moving along, that that will probably change. (Source)

So, if we take him at his word that means he opposes marriage for anyone who can’t bear a child. So, if you’re a woman over 45 Burris wants to take away your right to marry. Pretty much all marriage for the elderly is out. If you have fertility problems he feels you shouldn’t be allowed to marry.

Thing is, I’m pretty sure he’d be shocked at what I just said. Apparently he’s not bright enough to understand that from a reproductive standpoint (which is the point he’s arguing) there’s no difference between an elderly straight couple and a gay couple. Actually, the gay couple is more likely to adopt an abandoned child - but of course there’s no place for that in his ideology either - if it doesn’t pop out of your uterus it’s not your ‘bloodline’, ergo not worthy of granting you marriage.

Of course this is ridiculous. Even Burris understands things are changing - too bad he can’t figure out it’s only logical that they’re changing. A bloodline argument for marriage hasn’t made sense for hundreds of years (if it made sense back then).

All I can say is thank god views like his aren’t prevalent among young people - there’s hope for the future!

Back in the day I was pretty much as conserative as they come. When I went off the college I was a member of The Young Conservatives of Texas, I was in the leadership of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, I sang in a church choir, and argued with people about things like evolution. But all that’s changed. In ways it happened quickly, in other ways it’s been a very long process.

It all started when my roommate for the summer, Nial Gaffney, an astrony major, said to me that when he looked into the stars he saw the handiwork of a god that was bigger than the god of the bible. It took me a little while to digest that, but I knew it was true. The bible puts god in a box and makes god in the image of man. The truth of the matter is that our creator is so far above us that it’s impossible to understand him/her/it. We are no more significant to our creator than grains of sand are to us.

That lead me to being a Deist. There’s actually a great deal of Deist history in the US - many of our founding fathers were Deists - Thomas Jefferson being the most notable. But that was just an accident of history since our country was founded at a time that was Deism’s zenith and that was simply because society was moving from a culture where non-believers were killed to one where they were tolerated and Deism was simply the step before atheism. When our country was founded you could be respectable and be a Deist, but you could lose everything (including your life) if you were an Atheist, so the Atheists of their day called themselves Deists.

Other changes in my belief system happened pretty quickly. If the bible wasn’t absolute truth then everything was up for reconsideration. At my heart I knew I was gay and so a year after rejecting Christiantity, I accepted myself and came out.

The process had actually started earlier - when I was in high school. The school I went to in Baltimore (Arlington Baptist School) had whole chapel services about the evils of rock music - including listening to it backwards and hearing things that praised Satan (lol). When I was in Lynchburg (at Jerry Falwell’s high school, Lynchburg Christian Academy) I had to drive with these guys from school to get to driver’s ed. They used to play Chaka Khan on the way almost every day. I got to love “I’m Every Woman” and it struck me - how could something so happy and joyous be evil? Listen to it and you’ll see what I mean…

Like almost no other song that one just puts a huge smile on your face and makes you feel like you’re having a great day. And that was supposed to be evil… Right… At that point I decided to make up my own mind as to what was good and bad, and Chaka Khan was not bad - not in the least.

So deciding that god was bigger than the god of the bible wasn’t really that hard. Deciding that my being gay wasn’t evil wasn’t all that hard either.

The question became what do I do with the conservative elements in my family? For years after I came out to my parents I hoped they’d accept me. But that never happened. When my lover died of AIDS in January of ‘95 Mom made a comment about how her mother had been there for her when her first husband died in World War II and I thought she got it, but that was quickly dispelled in our next conversation.

The bottom line was that it was bad for me to weigh myself down with my parents. It’s not good to be around people that tell you there’s something wrong with you - especially when they’re your parents (who are supposed to love you unconditionally) and they can’t just ignore the issue and interact with you without it getting brought up. Their lives revolved around Jerry Falwell’s church and that meant that their lives revolved around fighting liberalism including gay rights. I was the enemy and there was no way for me to be comfortable in their world.

At a point I just had to tell myself that they died and I needed to move on, which is what I did. There’s a song/video out lately, “Fuck You Very Much”…

In a way it resounds with my decision to separate from my parents, but it also trivializes the decision. It’s easy to say “fuck you very much, we hate what you stand for, please don’t stay in touch” to a stranger. It’s a more complicated process when it’s your parents.

When I was growing up our parents were sort of the glue that held our family together. I remember big phone bills calling all my sisters every week. That doesn’t happen any more. I didn’t really get those phone calls even before I had issues with them - not sure why. And now that I’m not really wanting to have much to do with them it’s a bit of a wedge in an already weak relationship with some of my sisters. It’s unfortunate really, but it is what it is…

Of course lately the issue is marriage. Let me put this bluntly - separate but equal is always separate, but never equal. Civil unions will not work - nothing but marriage will work, because only marriage has the full rights. Only with marriage can I finally give Dan citizenship…

But of course the fundamentalists, like my parents, want to tell gay folk like me what marriage means. Somehow they’ve forgotten that there’s a marriage contract involved that requires going down to your local government office. They equate marriage with the wedding ceremony - forgetting that Atheists get married all the time without any religious ceremony. So since I’m on a YouTube kick, let’s remind ourselves what “traditional, biblical marriage” really means…

Yes, biblical marriage really is that messy, and the fact that Christians think it’s some solid, honorable standard is laughable. For a moment let’s consider what it would be like if “traditional marriage” were actually enforced…

That’s right - no divorce, no blacks marrying whites, no women who weren’t virgins on their wedding night… Funny how Christians forget all those bits about “traditional marriage”…

The bottom line is Chaka Khan isn’t evil and neither are gay men and lesbians. Take a deep breath, sit down, and just accept it…

For the longest time I hated the term “gays” ’cause with very few exception I didn’t hear anyone other than bigots use the term, but that’s changed. Now I’m hating the term “political correctness” - people use it to put down people who believe in valuing other people and other perspectives much the same way conservatives use the term liberal - as if it’s a shameful term.

When I hear “political correctness” used to silence people it’s sadly used by gay people. It baffles me that a gay man would want an end to homophobia, they’d like marriage, not being fired from jobs, etc., but they’ll do things like tolerate racism in their midst. This happened at IML this year (the International Mr. Leather Contest in Chicago - a huge event that’s Chicago’s 4th largest conference). One of the presenters - a real veteran in the leather community made racist (anti-Asian) comments. Then later in the program the entertainer made stupid comments about East Indians. Yet those same people expect others to give them rights and treat them as equals. When I complained one person told me I was just being “politically correct”.

Well, it doesn’t work that way. If you want respect you have to start by respecting others. If you want others to be politically correct, perhaps you should be politically correct too. This is a clear two way street. I don’t care how much someone has contributed to a community - no one earns the right to be racist.

I should stop and say that intolerance of intolerance is not the same as other forms of intolerance. Think about math - the word “of” is used in cases like 2 of 3 - it stands for division - 2 of 3 = 2/3rds. So “intolerance of intolerance” is similar to saying -2 of -2, which equals a positive number, not a negative.

When you hear someone use the word poltical correctness to shut someone up - stop them. Explain how they probably want someone else to accept and value them - how can they ask that of others if they don’t demonstrate it themselves.

I just saw that one of the townhouses we’ve been through is having an open house - 42 Hamilton Terrace. After everything we’ve seen I can honestly say that owner (or broker) is absolutely crazy for the price they’re asking - $995K (it was up at $1.1M when we saw it earlier this year). Let me explain why that’s a crazy price…

To be fair the upside to the property is that it’s a decent width and on a great block - Hamilton Terrace. It also has some incredible original details in it - mostly the fireplaces and baseboards on the ground floor. But there’s so much wrong with the place it’s not even funny - at least when you consider they’re asking a million dollars for it.

The big issue is that it’s falling down. Literally. The extension in the rear where the kitchen used to be is just walls - the floor in the extension has fallen into the floor below. The rest of the building is falling down as well. When we went through it was raining inside the building because snow was melting on the roof. If you know anything about buildings you know the building goes downhill very quickly if the roof is no good. I was literally scared to walk through the building. They have plywood down in some areas ’cause they’re worried people will fall through those parts of the floor. Personally I don’t think it’s safe to go inside that building. If anyone gets hurt I’ll feel really guilty ’cause I was tempted to call 311 and report it as unsafe (but I didn’t).

It’s not the first Harlem townhouse that’s fallen down and it won’t be the last. But right now, in this market, you just don’t pay a million dollars for something that’s falling down.

• 48 Hamilton Terrace a few doors down needs some work, but it’s completely livable and mortgageable and it’s going for $1.25M.
• There’s a place on Stiver’s Row (236 W 139th) that apparently sold for around $425K a few months ago and now they’re trying to flip and asking $699K. Someone started a renovation and didn’t finish, but it’s completely solid and it’s on Striver’s Row.
• Then there’s 506 West 142nd Street, which is a fully renovated, income producing property in move-in condition and it’s asking the same price as 42 Hamilton - $995K. Mind you, the renovation is soulless, the back yard is dark and small, and the block isn’t nearly as good, but compared to one that’s about to fall down on a better block it’s price to sell and 42 Hamilton clearly isn’t.
• And 470 West 148th was just reduced to $999K - it’s perfectly nice 12′ wide townhouse that’s move-in ready, but will need renovation in the not-too-distant future.

Personally I think 42 Hamilton should have a price drop of about a third - to $699K. With a $500K renovation that would put the total cost around $1.2M and it would be in better condition than 48 Hamilton which would compensate the buyer for the hassle of the renovation.

The other townhouse where people seem like they’re stuck two years back in a time warp is 532 West 148th Street. The pictures are amazing, but when you go through the house you realize how little substantive renovation has been done. It’s “shabby chic” in the ’80s sense of the word (before the term referred to a store) when people didn’t have money for renovations so they just make things that were falling apart look pretty. The floors aren’t redone - they’re just whitewashed and varnished. The ceilings aren’t redone - they’re ripped out and there’s exposed beams. Same with the walls - ripped out. What you have left is a shabby chic 3 story loft that’s one big open space plus a work space in the basement - a total bachelor pad. There are almost no walls, no privacy - some of the bathrooms are literally in the middle of the floor with no walls around them. It would have been hot 20 years ago, but now people are looking for genuine renovations - skim coated walls, recessed lighting, floors that are in good condition. The other thing about that property is that it’s 1/2 block off Broadway - not on a prime block.

All of that would be fine if they weren’t asking nearly $2M for the place ($1.895M to be precise). I think the comp for it is 48 Hamilton Terrace @ $1.25M - so they need to drop the price by a third to be in line with their competition. Both 48 Hamilton and 532 W 148 are in similar condition in terms of infrastructure. 48 Hamilton is on a MUCH better block and is landmarked. 532 W 148 has better interior design, but you’re buying the building, not the furnishings. Plus 48 Hamilton has walls and rooms, which most townhouse buyers want, so it’s more desirable.

I did like going through the place though - it showed how much you can do to a townhouse at a reasonable price. If you really don’t want to do expensive structural changes, you can still have a place that’s stylish (though to me shabby chic is pretty dated).

The Harlem real estate market has always been pretty speculative, but luckily much of the market is pretty realistic about how prices are dropping. There are some incredible bargains out there and a lot of people are quite flexible. We saw one property where the broker (whom we really liked) told us they were about to drop another 17% - and that’s after a price reduction not all that long ago.

But some people are afraid to be realistic. There are a few that are dropping the prices too far ’cause they’re desperate to sell in a bad market. But the problem is that when you drop really low people start thinking that’s what all the prices should be and then prices  really tumble. Hell, we’re sorta playing that game - hoping we can sell our place before that mentality takes hold in our neighborhood and after it takes hold in Harlem.

I’m not saying that most of the places that are livable and mortgageable should drop that much further, but the reality is construction loans are hard to get these days and people who buy places that need construction loans (like 42 Hamilton) should get rock bottom prices to compensate them for doing something that’s pretty risky in a falling market… At least we’re hoping a seller will see it that way when we go to buy a place. I’ve got my eye on a place and as far as I can tell it’s practically a shell. It also needs a one-third price reduction… Hopefully we’ll be able to sell our place and hopefully the seller will be flexible by then… We’ll see. First step is to sell our place…

In defense of the people who’ve over-priced is the fact that the market is rapidly changing and there’s not a lot of data to make informed decisions on. Things were dropping before the stock market went down in September, then only 2 townhouses had deals in Q4 of 2008. That didn’t give people a good idea of what they should be doing. In Q1 they say 10 townhouses have closed, but even that data isn’t all in yet. But the issue is how far do you have to drop in order to be “priced to sell” when almost nothing is selling?

Fear Uncertainty and Doubt (FUD) is a powerful weapon. It can be as subtle as “well, I don’t know…” at a business meeting to George W. Bush getting everyone riled up with “facts” about Iraq that just weren’t true. The same thing is happening with gay rights.

Here’s a video that refutes the major claims made by the religious right about gay marriage… The bottom line is that their claims are just fears - nothing more. The sky isn’t falling…

I’m sure eventually there will be some bad consequence of gay marriage to someone, somewhere. But there’s obviously many bad consequences now for millions of gay Americans. When the time comes and a heterosexual is harmed in some way, it can be remedied in the courts and, if necessary, the legislature just as we’re trying to remedy our problems now.